Mind Games: How To Silence Your Inner Critic
We all have an ‘inner critic’ who second-guesses our choices, and lobs insults about our perceived shortcomings.
The good news is the more we recognise this internal enemy, the easier it will be to shut him or her up, so we can be our best selves.
To become more aware of your negative thoughts or critical inner voice, follow these steps.
1. Pay attention next time a bad mood hits
Ask yourself what you were thinking about yourself at the time your mood shifted.
2. Recognise situations that set off your negative thinking
Such as a phone call rom your dad or a friend sharing good news.
Become aware that you have turned against yourself.
3. Notice the occasions when your mind takes over
Pay attention to when you are thinking people don’t like you and examine the thoughts you imagine they’re having about you.
4. Be alert to any cynical thoughts towards other people
They may be valuable clues as to how you attack yourself.
Once you become aware of these specific thoughts, consider what prompted them in the first place.
5. Think about what or whom these voices sound like
To understand where your negative thoughts come from.
People tend to find important connections between their voice and someone significant from their past.
Once you have done this, you can begin to identify where your voice started and separate it from your own point of view.
The next step is to change your thoughts with the following actions.
6. Challenge your critical inner voice
The most important step to silencing it is to respond to it from a realistic and compassionate perspective. Say aloud or write down a more congenial, honest response to each of your put downs.
Use 'I' statements.
“I am a worthy person with many good qualities amd have a lot to offer."
7. Connect your voice to your actions
Your critical inner voice has plenty of bad advice.
"Don't say anything. No-one wants to ear what you have to say."
As you learn to recognise your critical inner voice, you can start to catch on when it's starting to influence your behaviour.
8. Change your behaviour
Once you see how the critical inner voice influences your behaviour, start to consciously act against it.
The process of ‘not listening’ to your inner critic and strengthening your own point of view can be uplifting, but it can also cause anxiety.
The more you oppose the voice, the weaker it will become.
9. Reflect on your negative thoughts
Determine if there is any truth to them. It's important to recognise that even though there may be a kernel of truth to them.
It's important to recognise that even though there may be a kernel of truth in a specific critical voice , nothing can be gained by attacking yourself.
This not only fails to change a behaviour you may dislike in yourself, it also makes you feel bad, which increases the likelihood that the behaviour will recur.
The best strategy is to take an objective and compassionate look at any negative behaviour or traits you have and work at changing them.
To a large extent, you have the power to re-create yourself to become a person you like and admire.
There is always anxiety as people grow, but it is worthwhile to struggle through it to come out the other end.
Article Source: https://www.readersdigest.com.au/healthsmart/conditions/mental-health/mind-games-how-silence-your-inner-critic
Image Source: https://www.readersdigest.com.au/sites/default/files/slides/happy_sheep_770.jpg
VOCABULARY WORDS:
1. Second-guess (v.) ~ to criticize or question the actions or decisions of someone
2. Shift (v.) ~ change the emphasis, direction, or focus of
3. Cynical (adj.) ~ believing that people are motivated by self-interest distrustful of human sincerity or integrity
4. Congenial (adj.) ~ (of a person) pleasant because of a personality, qualities, or interests that are similar to one's own
5. Put down (n./ informal) ~ a remark intended to humiliate or criticize someone
6. Kernel of truth (idiom) ~ a core accuracy at the heart of a claim or narrative which also contains dubious or fictitious elements
7. Recur (v.) ~ occur again, periodically, or repeatedly
8. Extent )n.) ~ the degree to which something has spread the size or scale of something
QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION:
1. Are you often critical of yourself? How does that affect your attitude in your everyday life?
2. Do you think of yourself as cynical? What are the advantages and disadvantages of this behavior?
3. How can you become more positive and combat your negative criticisms of yourself?
